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Most bad nights out in London come from picking the wrong world rather than the wrong club. Mayfair is about the table and who is at it. Soho and the centre are about dancing without a production. The east is about the music and nothing else. Decide which one you want and the rest follows.
Mayfair: tables, bottles and a door
- Annabel’s, Berkeley Square. Members’ club, extraordinary interior, properly expensive. Only if you know a member.
- Tape London. Reliable, well run, a table is the straightforward way in.
- Cirque le Soir. Performers and spectacle. Loved and loathed in equal measure.
- Toy Room. Late, loud, hip hop and house. The door is the whole exercise.
Honest about the economics: without a table you are at the mercy of the door, and a table starts in the high hundreds and goes up from there. Book through the venue rather than a street promoter.
Central: dancing without the production
- Heaven, Charing Cross. Under the arches, the longest-running of them all, friendly door.
- Ministry of Sound, Elephant and Castle. The sound system is still the reason to go.
- Egg London, King’s Cross. Three floors and a terrace, open absurdly late.
- Soho clubs. Small, cheap, no one is being photographed. Best after midnight.
East: for the music
- Fabric, Farringdon. Room One for the bass you feel through the floor. A night out, not a drink out.
- Village Underground, Shoreditch. Warehouse, serious bookings, no attitude.
- Corsica Studios, Elephant and Castle. Small, dark, for people who came for the DJ.
- Printworks-style warehouse events. Check listings rather than venues; the good ones move.
Getting in, honestly
- Arrive before midnight. Doors harden as the night goes on, everywhere.
- Small groups. Two or four, mixed, works everywhere. Six men works nowhere.
- Book a table or be on a list. In Mayfair those are the only two routes that reliably work.
- Dress for the world you chose. Mayfair wants smart shoes; Fabric does not care at all.
- Skip the promoters on the street. They cost more and deliver less than the venue’s own line.
With company
Clubs are a poor place to meet for the first time: too loud for conversation, too long a queue. Have a drink somewhere quiet first, our best bars guide covers where, then go on. If you are booking an escort for the evening, say that a club is the plan so she can dress for it, and book three hours rather than one. Our London at night guide covers what else is open late.
Good to know
Questions
It depends which of the three worlds you want: Mayfair tables, central dance floors or east London music rooms. Fabric for music, Tape for Mayfair, Heaven for a friendly door.
A table booked through the venue, or a guest list. Without one you are at the mercy of the door. Avoid street promoters.
In Mayfair, high hundreds upwards depending on the night and the spend minimum. Elsewhere tables are far cheaper or unnecessary.
Before midnight. Doors get stricter as the night goes on, and the queue only grows.
Yes. Tell the concierge that is the plan so she can dress for the venue, and book three hours rather than one. A quiet drink first works better than meeting in the queue.